Archive for April, 2010

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Commitment: The Key to Lasting Change

April 21, 2010

“Always dream and shoot higher than you know how to. Don’t bother just to be better than your contemporaries or predecessors. Try to be better than yourself.” William Faulkner (Thank you for the photo Eschipul)

As I sit here in my ‘study’, the weather outside is beautiful for this time of year, and could not be more perfect, I figured that since a while ago I realised a profound truth to real lasting change. In fact, any change and the success of any endeavour begins and ends with commitment.

There are many, many self-help, and success literature books out there, millions, if not over a billion books which have information  that potentially can change people’s lives. I have read far too many of them to say that I have suffered from the biggest issue which is the real falling point on many people’s success. That the most people who employ success strategies, or any other life changing endeavour, fail because of one thing; commitment.

By committing to change, really deciding, to give this change a shot with, one hundred percent of yourself, will leave the biggest impact. A life changing impact. However, before you even think about committing to change one aspect of your life, you must fully realise and understand the magnitude of that said commitment.

The mistake I made by commiting to become more productive really didn’t work after the month simply because it was in fact, not really an area that needed as much improvement as other areas. More importantly it was not really in line with my values, and really I was just copying someone else idea of what improves our lives.

What works for others may not work for you.

Change is personal, so when we commit to making that change, whatever it maybe, we first have to make sure in ourselves that its what we really want. For too long, I like many others was pursuing things that just did not resonate with who I really am, what I truly wanted, so as a result, the commitment was pretty non-existent and change never really came about.

Before deciding to change, really think about what it is that you really want. Even a little bit of suggestion from anywhere, be it marketing, advertisements, people around you, films you watch, the television shows really can screw with your mind. External desires tend to be a mild state of hypnosis, in which the mind believes it really wants something. Do you really want that Xbox 360 game? Or new Ford Fiesta in lime green? Really? Probably not.

Therefore, if you want to change your finances, lifestyle, health, fitness, eating habits,  then realise that the true wealth does not come from having things, but by being the person you truly want to be.

For a long time, I felt that if I had a successful business, earning lots of money, going travelling, driving a nice car, then I would feel important, loved, admired, appreciated. However, guess what? I have come to realisation that they are just symbols of the person I really just wanted to be. I wanted to feel like a success. That is what nearly all of us in one way or another are searching for. To be more accurate we wanted to feel Love.

On many different levels, that warm feeling, that we get whilst doing things, or being around certain people, having certain things, all boil down to generating that single most desired feeling.  That’s what we’re really after.

So in chasing money and success, its really the desire to feel love, and be loved by others. Admired by others.

In coming to realise this, we can then think, well, what type of person has this kind of life that we so strongly desire. What would they be like, how would they act, how would they interact with people, what would they be like to be around? What would it feel like?

Your life is not about what you have, its not about what you do, its about what you are. Think about that. All the people who are loved, admired, successful, what kind a person are they like?

So, coming back to the beginning of this post, what are you committing to? Its to really become the person who you want to become, and that does not come easily, as breaking and forming new habits takes continuous effort, concious awareness of what we’re doing. Self-help information is abundant today as it ever has been, but the crux of real lasting change is down to YOU.

So if you want to make real lasting change to your life, to become the person who you’ve always dreamed of, you have to fully and 100% commit to making that change happen, which will only work is you’re going after something which your heart truly wants.

So, before I leave, I want to give you this one thing: If you are deciding on pursuing a life changing endeavour (that means anything you want to improve), firstly, question your motives, and keep asking why, if your motives are strong enough you’ll stay committed to literally anything that you set yourself to change.

Thanks for reading.

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Life Transformation: Attempt No. 3

April 15, 2010

For a long time I have looked  for a system a way of living which appeals to me, and makes me become the person I actually want to be. Today, I am sitting here, at my Brother’s computer, deciding to make another effort to change my life, and am laying out the plans to do so.

I have read many, many books on life change, many many systems, and all sorts of different ways of becoming the person you want to become. The whole thing is essentially seems to be focusing on the core issues which are naturally hardest to change. You can change a habit, but changing personality traits or any other deep rooted beliefs takes time and patience.

I suppose life change comes out of solving the problems we have in our lives today, these issues can only be fixed by single minded focus, until we are at a stage we that solution to the problem is no unconscious, and we no longer have to think about the problem because our change in character is such that it has completely disappeared.

I have looked for and read many books, and really they say the same thing which we all ready know inherently. It is just a case of becoming aware of the issues that hold us back.

It is difficult to just try and invent our own system of living and of philosophy, and many success stories differ because the person takes on a slightly different take on things and it is important to know, as I said in a previous post that we must be our own point of reference and what is true for us, is all that matters.

The main problem I am suffering from right now is actually my home environment. I allow myself to be influenced by its comforts and the ease with which I can completely waste my time. In fact that is one of the biggest issues I have found inherently running through my life. I retreat into my place of comfort, where we feel safe, and then nothing is accomplished. It is a very subtle and isidious of enemies because it encourages laziness and idleness. That at the moment seems to be the biggest issue.

I have to look at my life with some perspective. We all can become impatient and want change to occur instantaneously. However, the most profound of all change, occurs by just taking little steps, and by overcoming obstacles as they occur. We must realise that we are not here to just consume, and take, but to bring our talents into fruition. We are to develop everything we are capable of, and to refuse to think otherwise. By giving everything of ourselves we will receive everything we ever dreamed of. Essentially, we need to give, that which we wish to receive. That is why, although various sources and modern society very much gears us up to what we can get, the truth is in fact the opposite. That the key, is giving everything we have of ourselves, knowing that our returns are in exact proportion to what we give.

If you want to prosper, and be a success, you must first, add to the prosperity of others in any way you can. If you want the perfect relationship the perfect partner, you have to be the perfect partner. If you want better friends, you have to be a better friend yourself. The truth is that simple. Give that which you seek.

So from this, moment onwards, I will be simply attempting to do just that. The opportunities to give are far more abundant than we could ever have imagined.

From this moment, I am committing myself to keep on track of this life altering decision.

In the morning, I will set an reminder up on my phone (my alarm clock) in a simple statement, “Everyday is a day to give yourself to world”. Then three other times, I will set up a reminder, asking “Are you giving everything of yourself?”

The thinking is, that in giving everything of yourself, you will receive everything you want.

Then, in the evening, I will ask myself if I did give everything of myself. The answer, can either be Yes or No. It cannot be anything else.

The idea, is to make it a habit, to constantly ask myself, “How can I give more?”. Hopefully, this should turn my life around. Watch this space.

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Trials and Tribulations are Life’s Undulations

April 14, 2010

Self ReliancePlease forgive me for the title, it just sort of came out.

Life throws us all sorts of tests, and difficulties, and without recognizing them as tests we often can sink into being a victim again when we were making such good progress. You might find that returning home is a problem for you as family and close friends can dampen your spirits and remove that sparkle from life. That is the most dangerous and subtle of all thieves of success. The subtle ridicule received when embarking on a new way of life, or announcing that you are going to make some changes for good can often be met with mild ridicule which more often than not, can dissuade us from making the changes necessary to become the person we truly want to become.

It is at these times that we must seek other forms of support and other ways making life interesting, without too conspicuously alerting your closest friends and relatives. When we notice our spirits getting dampened, and life becomes a bore, we must first realise what is happening, and then seek ways of preventing this. This can happen a number of ways, and I will not insult your intelligence by laying them out here, you can work that out for yourself.

For many years, I have been searching for a philosophy which enhances my way of living to the point where I truly am living the life of my dreams. I have been looking for methods, and gurus, teachers and mentors for over 4 years. Do you know what I have found in all of this? Now, please, you do not have to listen to me in doing this. In fact, don’t just accept what I am saying.

Before I tell you what I have found, you must make a promise to yourself that before you read any further, you will not believe what I am saying until you have tested the truth for yourself.

Only really by personal experience do we really learn life’s lessons. The teacher you have been looking for for all these years, is you.

We are both the teacher and the student. The lessons we are taught is by life, but the teachers are from our own experiences. Only you can save yourself. Only you.

By developing self reliance, we begin to realise in ourselves that we have everything we need already to achieve our wildest dreams. Ralph Waldo Emerson talks about in his lecture Self Reliance, where he says “To believe your own thought, to believe that what is true for you in your private heart is true for all men, — that is genius”. It is that simple.

Trust yourself, you have everything you need already inside of you, and for anything outside of you, there is nothing you need that will not be given to you at the right time.

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